Step by Step

As of my first article the start of my story…. I will tell you more about the part how I found to my Big 5 for life and how you can start to find your own life’s purpose.

I never was really addicted to reading books, I mean sometimes I was reading some novels, but I never thought about mindset or personal development books before. Since the day I was broken down, and I knew nothing will be the same. As I was at a point in my life, I started to think about the things I’ve done wrong. I thought “Am I really such a bad person?” – I lost my boyfriend; my job and my body were showing me that I really need to slow down and take a break.

I knew I had to get back on my feet as my life is not over yet. Never ever think when a relationship ends that your life is over. It is painful, yes. But that’s how life works. There are things we must go through in order that we can find ourselves. My family and friends couldn’t help me at this point, as I had to figure it out on my own and find myself. When I went to my doc and talked to her about my situation and that I don’t know what I am going to do she said it’s a burnout, what I am having. I didn’t understand what it is and tried to look for a new job and all this kind of stuff.

But I was not strong enough… Something in my mind and heart said: “Look, take a break and figure it out, who you are”. 
Did you ever have a situation in your life, where you ask yourself this question?

Who am I?”

I had a break of two years, where I was trying to find myself. In these 2 years, I met my boyfriend from today and he is now on my side for 7 years. He is part of my Big 5 for life journey. As he helped me to find to myself…

Can you imagine it?”

Me neither… I always thought it’s all about keep going in life and work until you are 67 and then you are old. But… no, it’s not. Life isn’t about paying bills, eating, get married and work. Life is about finding yourself and find out what the hell you want to do and what your passion is.

What is your passion?”

Which brings me to my next question: What’s making you jump out of your bed in the morning and you really love to do?

It took me over 10 years to find that one thing in my life, I really love to do…

When I started to learn about self-development and mindset, I heard the first time of the book “The Big 5 for life” and then when I heard from it until I was really reading it…1 more year past by.

I was reading the first part of this book and I thought “Jesus, did I ever think about my Big 5 for life?” Do I really want to do, what I’ve learned in my school and college education? In Germany it is almost normal that you go to school, do a 3 years part school part work education program or full-time degree and then work in this job until you go into your pension. I did not want to go this way. I always knew I want to help animals, I want to create a place somewhere in the world, where the animals have a home and feel safe. There I must tell you a little story from our first holiday in the Canary Islands, Gran Canaria, Puerto Rico to be exact. For me the place I can find to myself.

When we went there for the first time in 2015, I saw that there a living a lot of cats on the streets and a few of them don’t look healthy or happy. So, what I was going to do, I went to the next shop and bought food for them and I visited the cats every day. I always had food with me. This meant a lot to me because the cats were happy. Now, when we go there, we have always cat food with us. It was the same when went to Lanzarote. And I already knew, I will have cat food with me.

This one is a big part of my vision board and I know, I will have this home for animals.

Now my question for you:

What was your dream when you were little?”

Did it change?

Dreams are real, and you have it in your hands to make them real. It doesn’t matter how long it takes, the only thing which matters is you and how badly do you want it.

After, my boyfriend decided to leave the country, 6 years ago…. I saw my chance for a new me. Maybe not at first, when he told me that he is going to leave the country in 6 weeks, but I went into me and listened to my heart.

There are two kinds of people: The ones, which are making decisions based on their gut. And the ones which are making a decision based on analysis or a pro and con lists. I make my decisions based on my gut feeling.

What about you?”

I needed time for myself to think about the situation that we will live apart from each other and we don’t know for how long.

I had questions in my head, like, what do I lose if I start somewhere over? Can I leave my friends and family behind me?

But you know what, there was a point, where I knew this is the right way and I am going to make it. As I knew to stay in the same place where I was born and lived for the last 25 years it wouldn’t help me to find to myself. But there was one more thing, which was helping me to take this decision easier. Some of you know, that my Grandma died last year in March. So, when I went to my Grandma, with my decision she said: “I am doing the right thing, as now is the time, where I have to think about myself and not about my Mom or Sister.” So, the decision was clear to me.

We have our story and each of us has a different story and that’s good because it is your story and you can tell this story to the people you will meet and help them with your experience.

What is your story?”

Back to the real point of, how did I find my Big 5 for life? After living one year outside of Germany I realized, that’s what I really like, I like to meet new people, travel and learn new things every day. I went with almost zero knowledge in English to this country. And yes, I had English in school, but it wasn’t one of my favorite subjects. Anyway, I had to speak and learn English as I needed to go to job interviews and work.

By the way, our cat (Honey) came to us on the 14th of February 2014 and she lived as well with us and now she is back with us in Germany. This had to be said as she belongs to our family.

Do you feel homesick, easily?”

I was feeling homesick a lot of times, but I thought, what will happen, if I don’t try it, it’s only a year now. After 4 years living in another country, I can call it my second home. And this is a great feeling if you can say this. It’s an indescribable feeling when you know, you have more places in the world where you can go, whenever you want.

Finding out about your Big 5 for life is not only sitting down and wait or writing down your goals it’s more like this…

Go out, explore the world, travel and find to yourself, try new stuff make mistakes and you will find your way. That’s it. If you want to make a difference in your life and have an impact on other people life’s, then find your way… I know sometimes it’s scary but that’s the only way that you can be you. Our parents often said, “kid, you have to go to school, study and work”. Because they haven’t learned it in any other way. I knew I must do something different and not the normal way like most of the people are doing it, because it’s the safest way.

It’s the same with the relationships, if you can’t be yourself in a relationship then it’snot this one person for the endless love story. Now, some of us will say, “I don’t even believe about this true love story in life”, but… it depends only on you. If you find this one person, which you know, it will stay on your side,through bad times, good times then you might agree.

But it’s not all, this one love for me is as well, the person, who I call my best friend, big brother, Travel buddy and whatever you will call it. It took me a while to find this one person and be me. Most people change, when they are in a relationship. I wouldn’t say they change to a bad person or a better person. It’s more like, that they are not themselves. I mean, when you found this one person, then they will love you like you are and not like you think you must be.

We are now 7 years together and we went through a lot and sometimes I thought, are we strong enough to go through this. We are both very stubborn… oh yes, we are… but we always find a way to ourselves and stay who we are. The Big 5 for life are apart of us, as we both love to travel, see the world, meet new people and learn new stuff.

When you found yourself and have the answer to this question:

Who Am I?”

You will find your purpose in life. As I said, one of my Big 5 for life is, building a home for animals. It doesn’t have to be one of your life goals.

Each of us, have their own Big 5 for life. In this book, there was one part, which really went through my mind and heart as there was this one person who created a company where the people are people and not machines.

What do I want to say with that?

He is the CEO of this company and he started to make a museum of his life. One day he met Joey and he asks him, is it a good day for a day in the museum?” Joe did not understand that question, but years later, when they started to work together and build a great friendship, Thomas the CEO explained to him what it means. The explanation is amazing and it is so clear to me….

If we spend 80 percent of our time for a job, we don’t really like, therefore 80 percent of the museum will be filled with it. We would see pictures and quotes and short movies about life, and the unhappy moments. But if we are friendly to 90 percent of the people, you would exactly see this in your museum. That means in the way around, if we would be angry and shout at each other that you would see this in your museum too. And when we like to be in nature and spend a lot of time with our kids and friends or we enjoy the life with our best half and we only give this part 2 % of our life’s, then you will see only this 2 % in your museum.

Imagine how it would be if we are going through this museum on the end of our life. How would you feel about it? Would you be happy with the life you had?

Start to figure out who you are, it won’t happen when you stay in the same place, where you started it.

You create your own museum.

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