Today’s story will be a little bit different from the other Blog articles I wrote before. I thought it might help everyone who struggles with self-love and their body.
Let’s dive right into.
Kids in school told me that I am a fat child.
In my childhood in school, kids were saying “You are fat” – and nobody will love you. I think it was from my school year 3 until 7. Trying to get over it, wasn’t just easy or made me feel better in any way. Our school system until you study is from grade 1 until 12 and then you graduate.
I don’t know it for sure how old I was when I started to doubt myself, but it started early. I wouldn’t say that I was overweighed or skinny, just a normal kid. Therefore, very quick I have changed my behavior for food, and I was paying attention to the food I ate. Each morning first thing I was checking the number on my scale.
“Not right, girls.”
As you know you get annoyed with yourself when you don’t see the number on the scale which you think is right as of the newspaper and all the models on the TV. Tell me one thing. Do you really want to look that skinny and unhappy like they do?
My eating disorder starts right here.
I think I was 16 when I started to get into my eating disorder, and I was on a level that I was constantly in the hospital as I was collapsing. Nobody saw that I am going to lose a lot of weight not even my Mom as I tried to wear the clothes one size bigger than I was used to it. For me, the goal was to lose as much weight as I could.
Don’t lose yourself!
I can’t really believe it, that losing ourselves can have so much impact on our health and relationships. Today’s kids shouldn’t think about being skinny or chubby, they should talk to their parents and have an honest conversation about self-love and self-caring.
The way to find self-love.
It took me a long time to get over my eating disorder and to love myself, for what I am and not for what the world wants me to be. When you can’t talk about problems with your parents then go and search for someone you can trust, and you know they are going to help you. My help was that I was going to a therapist. It’s not a shame to see a therapist. Many people nowadays see a therapist to overcome struggles in their life’s.
Do you understand yourself?
My parents got divorced when I was 14 and since then, I don’t have any contact with my father. When I was 20, I started to understand things about my past and questioned a lot of things. This is ok, everyone has a different past and sometimes we need time to understand it and don’t force it. I am still sometimes struggling with self-love and beating myself up for things which happened in the past. Remember, it is not your fault. As a child, you cannot handle things the way they should be until you are able to understand them.
Why are we so hard on ourselves?
Are you ever talking to a friend or loved one the same way you are talking to yourself? I guess not. So, why can’t you be patient with yourself? Well, there are different kind of situations which could be explainable for this behavior. Maybe you haven’t learned it in any other way from your parents or the people you were growing up with.
Stop being so hard on yourself. Each time you do something, cheer yourself up and be grateful for the abilities you have. I don’t know you, but remember you are an amazing and loveable person. Write down 3 or 4 things about yourself. What do you like the most about yourself? Maybe you are good, in inspiring and motivating people or music, arts or painting. I think we all know if somebody asks us the question about our weaknesses, we have a huge list of it. Did you ever think about it, that your weakness could be your strength?
Never thought about it too. I have a little example for you my teacher said I am not good at art, this was a subject in school. So, I believed it. T
What is your weakness?
Just remember this nobody should ever say, you can’t. They talked about them, but if you believe in your abilities you can change the world.
Did you ever think about trying these different kinds of diets because the news say that this is the best?
Well, after I realized, I really do have a problem with eating. I had to change something. Therefore, I started to try a different kind of diet and nothing really worked. Some of them you can’t eat several things and you get frustrated and some of them just so expensive. But why needs our health to be so expensive? Does it really? Or is because of all the newspaper they are writing about the different kind of diets?
First, stop believing everything you read in the news. It is all about your love for yourself. How you see yourself and how you handle your body.
In 2017, when we moved back from Ireland to Germany, I got a bit sick with a sinus infection. Back then, I went to see a doctor and she told me that my throat is thick, if I had ever checked my thyroid. I said no and she straight brought me into a medical ultrasound. It appeared a 3.5-centimeter big cyst on the right side of my thyroid and small knots on the left side. We did some more testing, like a blood test and it came across that I have a subfunction of my thyroid and I would need to take medication.
Therefore, she explained to me, that we could check the cyst and see if it is good or bad. I didn’t do it straight away. A few months later I have decided to see this specialist and he did surgery to get some of the liquid in this cyst. For the first time, it was ok, he just went with the thin needle into this cyst. 6 month later, the liquid went back into the cyst and it was already the same size as the first time. I went back again and this time he needed to push in the needle 3 times to get all the liquid.
Not a great experience as another doctor told me that I might need to think about surgery to get rid of a part of my thyroid. I felt a little lost after all of this. And I think since then 2 years past by and I just take the medication for my thyroid. Doctors also say that if you have problems with your thyroid you can’t lose weight so easy. Well, will come to this part a little later.
Are you having experience with your metabolism? Did you hear about
a metabolism reset?
I didn’t until the beginning of September 2018. This was the first time I got in touch with it. Here I would like to talk about my experience with it and why the doctors aren’t right with the part of losing weight when you have problems with your thyroid. Are you currently trying to lose weight? Well, it’s not long and we are starting to have summer again and most of us want to shape our body or just clean it up.
So, there we are. The metabolism reset is helping you to clean your body from all the bad stuff you get from outside. What do I mean by that?
I talk about the vital material which we get enough into our body. It’s all about cleaning our body, after this, fill it with the right vital substances and protect our body. Never really thought that this will work, honestly. At this time, I was just so sick about the different kind of diets and then you can’t eat this and this….
I talked to a few people about it and told them my problem with my thyroid and that I am not sure if that will help in any way to get a new feeling for myself and my body. Nobody from them told me anything bad about it, that all said that their metabolism went up with any hunger and the most important thing for all of us, girls. Therefore, listen well, they did not put on weight after the diet. Couldn’t believe that, but I saw pictures and I was talking with the people who already made it. The lost weight and felt more energy. I told them, well I need to try it and feel it on my own. People can tell a lot. But those pictures where amazing and I wanted to give it a try.
In September, after the wedding of our friends my partner and I
started. The first two days, you need to eat a lot. This will help you to reorganize your body and your metabolism and your body will have it easier when you got into the diet phase and will lose more calorie and burn the fat. At this stage, I still said, I am not sure if that is going to work with me. But anyway, I did it and in the first 21 days where you have an exact plan, how often you must eat and what kind of meat and fish you can eat.
In the first few days, I already saw how I am going to lose weight and I thought, that’s not possible. After the 21 days of this diet Step 1, I have lost 8 kg (18 lbs) of my body fat and I was so happy as this was the first time ever, I lost weight in a way I really had fun. Didn’t do much sport during that time, I need to say. It was also good training for me to get started in drinking more water every day. Never managed to drink more than 1.5 liters (51 ounces) a day. After this, I started to manage my 2.5-3 liters (85 – 101 ounces) a day. You can imagine that I was proud of myself. I went on to the scale and I have to say, I started with a weight of 69.7kg (154 lbs) and I went down to 61.7 kg (136 lbs). My goal was 62 kg (137 lbs).
Here I will put in the link for the products I have used since I have changed my daily routine.
First time I saw improving on my body and I started to like it. But you know, it is not only about the result, in this case, but it is also about the feeling to my body and to myself. I like eating, I like pasta, pizza, burger but when you start cleaning your body from all this stuff you start creating a different feeling and appreciating the food you put into your body.
And now, did you remember when I was saying to you, that doctors said, I am not able to lose weight because of my thyroid. Don’t believe everything your doctor is saying to you.
In December I’ve started to work out daily and I feel awesome. I am not crazy about going to the gym and whatever, but I train at least 20 minutes every single day.
I will put in some of my favorite workout videos as well for you.
All about it, there is always a way you can find to yourself, you only need to find the right way how you can do it. I feel happy about it to share my story and journey with you.
Never stop loving yourself.Stephanie Ilona
Stay in touch